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Beards

They'll grow on you

I’ve had a beard for a while now. I think I started have a beard regularly around early 2008. Having a beard is just great. You don’t have to waste a bunch of time shaving everyday, or spend big bucks on razors.

The list of people sporting beards really is endless. God for one has a beard. Jesus did too. Tough to argue that beards aren’t righteous. Presidents have sported beards, Abe Lincoln, Ulysses Grant. President Bush didn’t have a beard. I’m just saying. Zeus had a beard. King Leonidas had a beard. There are two major groups of people who don’t have beards, women and children. I don’t like to be lumped into the women and children category (unless I’m trying to escape a sinking ship). And, if I were on a sinking ship, I’d like to think the beard would protect me. Beards will keep your face warm, and allow you to strike a convincing thinking pose. They’ll soften a punch to the face. Assist in disguise. It goes on and on. Lately, in our society men have become more like women, becoming hairless, playing soccer, ect. I believe the term is metro-sexual. Well, I think being manly is still cool, even though it’s not hip or fashionable. I grow my beard, not just for myself, but to honor men before me who grew theirs.

three comments

I have a beard, I am kickass

Chuck Norris - 29-06-’10 18:36

Well I for one am thoroughly convinced. If my Native American genetics weren’t so metro-sexual, I would grow one too.

kwood (URL) - 29-06-’10 18:37

I look at “men” without facial hair (specifically beards) and I am reminded of the time in my life when I was a hairless rapscallion (aged 3) incapable of defending myself in a knife fight against a great ape, unable to scale the world’s tallest peaks, and generally a giant worthless pussy. By age 4 I had sprouted a full, masculine beard similar to my father’s. I slept with 7 models that year. My beard has helped me survive Andean plane crashes (3 to be exact), attacks from Bengal tigers, and being stranded off the coast of the Azores where I was able to use my beard to strain micronutrients and krill from the water and nourish myself…similar to a blue whale eating via baleen. In fact I connected with a pod of blue whales who likened me as one of their own and guided me to the rich coastal waters of the Santa Barbara Channel where I met a young Spanish girl named Lupe. We were madly in love and I sired a fine child, Esteban, with her who was fully bearded at the time of his birth…in fact all my sperm are fully bearded. They are strong and can impregnate any woman. My beard is akin to Samson’s mane…for if it were shaven I would be weak, uninteresting and powerless.

The Most Interesting Man in the World - 29-06-’10 18:52